Janet's Jargon

Fun lifestyles, charitable acts, great fiction, author support, Patrick and Grace Mysteries, Keith clan trilogy,

Monday, June 27, 2005

God DOES have a sense of humor

My good buddy, Carolyn Howard-Johnson, and I were gabbing online the other day about irony. She said somewhere she had read that it seems that only the English have the capacity to appreciate irony. I said that I love it when God sort of gets revenge on something that has been bugging us and He does a much better of it than we could do ourselves. Such irony, I told Carolyn, delights me no end. She said she wasn't sure exactly what I meant.
So I thought about it a couple of days, and this incident came to mind of God's perfect irony and His delightful sense of humor. I hope you enjoy this little tale (it is true) as much as I did.

We had a neighbor whose front door and driveway was right up against our bedroom window. You know we are "trailer trash"! Well, she decided to get a windchime. Now normally, I think they are really pretty, and hers was extremely melodic and beautiful...until... Well, there is almost never that the wind in North Dakota isn't blowing at full speed. And at 2 a.m. or 4 a.m. or midnight, they got real old real fast. So, when I saw her outside, I very politely asked her if she would mind taking them in at night. No comment from the peanut gallery. I thought maybe I would get used to them and could sleep through them. No such luck. I heard them all night--every night. Finally, in desperation, I called the trailer park management. They talked to her--and talked to her--and talked to her, all to no avail.
Then one day the powers that be decided that it was too dark in the park, so they installed great big bright streetlights all through the park. The one that was closest to us was right outside her bedroom window! No, I swear, we didn't ask them to put it exactly where they did, but they did it, nevertheless. I hear she yelled and screamed at them because she couldn't sleep with all the light coming in her bedroom window. It was there, and it wasn't about to be moved.
Then the park had to go around and trim the tree branches that were rubbing against the roofs of the trailers. Guess which branch had to go? Yup, there it went. I watched it with great glee, as the chain saw buzzed away, and smiled delightedly as it fell to the ground. I giggled a bit as it was dragged off to the truck to be hauled away. Yup, the branch, with the windchime still in place!
Then, about 3 months later, she lost her trailer to the bank, so some nice young college kid picked it up for a song and a dance from the bank.
And the funniest thing? The day after he moved in, the lightbulb burned out on the streetlight. That was back about March, I think, and it still hasn't been replaced. No, he didn't throw stones at it to get it out. The bulb is still up there, perfectly intact.
The moral of the story? If you don't want "payback," don't mess with the neighbors! God'll get you for that!

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Life is like a rollercoaster!

Wow! What a ride this life as an author is. It is definitely the craziest one I've ever been on, but also the most fun! I know I've been MIA on here, so I will try to catch you up on all that's been going on.
First, Pampas is now available. It's gotten some fantastic reviews and a lot of bookstores have ordered it in. It's not selling millions of copies a week, but it is selling dozens of copies a week. I'll take that.
Speaking of bookstores, if you have a Hastings Bookstore near you, please check to see if they have Pampas in. They have been WONDERFULLY supportive of my books and putting them on their shelves. I have spoken to a man at their corporate offices, and they are the friendliest bunch of people I've ever met. I've called almost all of their store managers in over 20 states, and haven't met a bad egg in the bunch! They are what makes being an author worth it all--that and all of you that are reading my books. I thank you, too.
And They Called Her General Leigh has left iUniverse. It will soon be out from PageFree as Ane We'll Call Her General Leigh. That should give it a fighting chance in bookstores, too.
I have had quite a few people ask me to do publicity for them. I don't want to become a publicist--except for my own books. So, I have come up with a compromise. I call it Your Personal Marketing Plan. I will give you the tools that will make your books a success, but only if you follow through and do the leg work to go with my brainstorms. Each plan will be personally modeled after your own book and your own author information. I have already gotten several clients, and I'm having fun with it. If you want more information about it, email me at janetelainesmith@yahoo.com .
I am also doing my editing as a freelance editor. I am very glad of this, as I don't have to read books that (in my opinion) are so bad that they should never see the light of day. I don't believe in censorship, but we don't need more violence and obscenity in the world. We get enough of that by watching the nightly news. That is why my books are "feel-good" books and they will always have a happily-ever-after ending.
That's what I'm doing. I hope you are all busy and enjoying your life as much as I am. Please leave a comment to let me know what you are up to, too.